The Woman Behind the Wheel

I have been driving cars for almost 17 years, and I genuinely love driving.

I love getting behind the wheel of a new model, figuring out how it feels, discovering its controls and simply experiencing the car.

And then there is a different kind of driving I love—long-distance drives on straight roads and highways, with 90s Bollywood or dance music playing. There is something about the road stretching ahead, the music playing,

and me being in control that I absolutely enjoy.

I am also much more comfortable in the driver's seat than in the passenger seat.

When someone else drives my car, I worry. Even in an Uber, I consciously try not to watch the driver. I shift my attention to something else because otherwise I find myself noticing every brake, turn and lane change.

There are very few people I am completely comfortable with driving.

I have driven 200 kilometres with men (my colleagues) sitting beside me without giving it a second thought. Put me behind the wheel, and I am perfectly at ease.

I remember once, when I was working in a bank, a colleague asked me, “Do you want to drive?” He started explaining how to operate the new car. Before he could get very far, another colleague laughed and said,

“She was born driving cars!”

That sentence stayed with me. It reflected the confidence people had in me as a driver.

Over the years, when i travel to some locations, I have also noticed children looking surprised when they see a woman driving. Perhaps they simply haven't seen enough women behind the wheel.

Today, thankfully, that is changing. Women driving has become completely normal. Yet some stereotypes remain.

I still hear men say women are stressed drivers, drive slowly, can't park properly and are too cautious. They will also say accidents are fewer when women drive—and then explain it by saying women are scared.

That part bothers me.

Why do we automatically call caution fear?

When you drive, you are constantly watching the road, all three mirrors, the vehicles beside you and the behaviour of the people around you. You are anticipating what someone might do next and making decisions within seconds.

Perhaps women, who are so used to multitasking, are not necessarily bad at this.

Of course, when someone has just started driving alone, there can be some entertaining moments, a nervous turn, an awkward reverse, a parking attempt that looks like a small circus!

But confidence comes with experience. It did for me too.

Just today, returning from yoga class, I got caught on the wrong side of the road because of traffic. There were lorries and tippers in front of me. I simply navigated through them. I didn't feel stressed. I knew what I was doing.

That confidence comes from the confidence and experience.

And recently, while reading Murakami's Men Without Women, I came across a character who was scared of women driving.

I felt surprisingly bad reading it.

My feminist side couldn't digest it.

Why should a woman behind the wheel be something to fear?

Interestingly, the same character eventually hires a woman driver and becomes comfortable with her driving. And that made me think.

Sometimes, perhaps, stereotypes change only when experience challenges them.

For me, driving has never been about proving that a woman can drive.

I was simply enjoying the car. Enjoying the freedom.

The road.

The music.

The freedom.

And somewhere along the way, I became a woman people trusted behind the wheel.

Although these days, I have started enjoying the passenger seat too.

But only when I trust the driver.